3/20/2006


Maybe this doesn't happen to everyone, but one day you wake up and your old. All the things that you though were so cool when you were 17, are not really all that cool now. How scary that some day I'll be that OLD 80's hipster that we grew up thinking were so lame. You know the type that I'm talking about, mustache, mullet and still listening to Pantara or whatever. Stuck in a euphoric state of eternal teenage bliss, until one day you have to tell him/her that the 80's are over and he/she is a bit lame. Am I going to be like that for this next generation? The thought scares me, not being hip means that I'll have to grow up and start wearing suits. Oh and getting a tattoo is out of the question. I'll never be in a successful band because the type of music that I like has faded. Replaced with whatever is cool now. When is the proper age to abandon youthful trends and loves? I love the music that I grew up on, but the amount of change that the scene has experienced amazes me. Nothing remains the same, no matter how much we may scream at it to remain constant, eventually it will end and something else will take it's place, nothing is sacred. I'm a dinosaur.. The need to be an "individual" or whatever I was trying to be is gone. I feel no need to be fashionable or anything just to fit in. My goal is now just to dress decent. It costs too much time and money to try to find a new style. I want to stay 18 forever; there is something innocent about the age to me. My favorite memories all revolve around the summer after my senior year, the freedom of summer. I remember endless careless summer nights, staying up till 2 AM on a weeknight because I could, drinking coffee and socializing. Wishing constantly that this would be the way I could spend the rest of my life, with good friends, Conformability, that is what my memories speak to me, my freedom is non existent, college is depressing.

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